Sanskar
Children have an innate ability to constantly rebel against anything an old person tells them to do. By old person this constitutes anybody older than twenty and/or anybody who looks tall.
I’m also guilty of going against everything I was ever told to do, it started with small things like using crayons to scribble over wallpaper when I wasn’t supposed to; and escalated to hiding Kumon Maths papers behind the fridge if I felt like I didn’t want to solve them.
**Kumon Maths papers are apparently supposed to help children to excel in their maths skills faster than the rate at which it is taught in schools. It involves solving between one to three short maths papers and escalating the difficulty until the child is as smart as Einstein. I got to know about this in my early teens through an aunty, I have never forgiven her, but I also truly believe that every child should do it now so they can experience the same pain I did.
There were two main things I actively tried to avoid at every given chance when I was growing up. The first, was the completely unnecessary runs I had to do every morning. I have never in my life been a person who likes to exercise, give me a cheesecake and I’ll happily exercise my face while eating it but otherwise the thought of running would make me want to cry. There was a time in my life however when I would be woken up at 4.30 am (5.30 am if it was a good day) and made to wear some hideous tracksuit, a hat and some fugly trainers; and then told to go for a run. Looking back if I had just done it without complaining, that run would have taken me thirty to forty minutes but of course being a graduate from the school of melodrama, I decided to be as slow as I could so my parents would come to the realisation that these runs were making me late for school. It got to the point where I would run for the first five minutes until my parents couldn’t see me, then I would walk for most of the distance and then sprint back to the house. I assumed my plan was working…until the day I got too comfortable and my parents saw me walking while eating a Snickers bar.
It was on that day that I was told “You won’t understand why we tell you to do this, but you will understand twenty years from now.” After that I was never told to exercise, and ironically now, twenty years later I find myself running on the treadmill every morning in some old trainers and a tracksuit. Let’s make something very clear – I still despise exercising but I also realise now that if I don’t do it, I’ll balloon into the size of a house fellow cheesecake addicts will be able to empathise.
The second and most significant thing I tried to avoid repetitively was morning prathana. I can’t remember when this started but I had to say a prathana/prayer every morning in front of our little Ganpati in the kitchen. Again, just like the morning run this prathana felt like it lasted for hours, rather than one part of one prayer it was a more of remix of bits from different prayers, sort of like a Prarambi Vinati vs Ram Raksha sing-off if you will. Not only did I have no idea what I was actually saying, but I tried my best to get out of doing it; in my defence at the time it didn’t make sense for me to say something every morning if I couldn’t understand it. The problem is, my parents were a little smarter than me, so rather than having to say it I had to sing it very loudly so that they could hear me upstairs. If they couldn’t hear me, it was very simple – do it again. If I had an exam/test, it was very simple – do it in the car on the way to school.
**If you are a child who doesn’t have a talent but who has to do/say something at family parties in front of bored aunties and uncles, reciting my morning prathana will blow their minds:
Prarambi vinati karu Ganapati; Vidyadaya sagara
Adnyanatva haroni budhhi mati dey; Aaradhya moreshwara
Chinta klesha daridra dookha avaghe; Deshantara pathavi
Herambha gananayaka gajamookha; Bhakta bahu toshavi
Netri don heerey prakash parasarye;atyant tey saajirey
Maatha shendoor pazarey vari varey; durvankurachey toorey
Mazey chitta virey manoratha purey; Dekhoni chinta harey
Gosavisoot Vasudeva kavi rey; Tya moaraya la smarey
Morya morya mi baal tanhe; tuziche seva karu kay zaane
Anyaay majhe kotyanakoti; moreshwara ba tu ghaal poti
Karagrey vasatey Lakshmi, karamadhey saraswati
Karmoley tu govindha, prabhathey kar darshanam
Udala udala kapi to udala; Samudra ultoni lankes gela
Lankesiza woni vichar kela; namaskar maza taya Maruti la
Ya kundenduttu shara hara dhavala; ya Shubhra vastraam ruta
Ya veenawara dandamandithakara, yaa shwet padmasana
Ya bramha dutta shankarapra bhuttibir; devayisada vandita
Saaman pa to saraswati bhagavati, nishe shajad yap aha
Shubhankaroti kalyanam, aaro gyamdana sampada
Shatrubudhi vinashaya; Deepak joti namostute
Divya divya deepakkar; kaani kundela moti har
Divyancha tel kaapsa chi vaar; divyala dekhun namaskar
Sarvesanthuki nasan thu; sarvesanthumhi ramaya
Sarve badhrani pasham tu; makash shidukh khamakhmeya
Asatho masad gamaya, thamaso majothir gamaya
Mruthiyor maam rutham gamaya; om shanti shanti shanti
Vakrathunda mahakaya; suryakoti samaprabha
Nirvignam kurmedeva; sarvakaryeshu sarvada
Gurur bramha gurur Vishnu gurur devo maheswara
Gurur saaksha parabramha tasmaiyshredur venamaha
Manojavama maarutatulyavegam; jitendriyam buddhi mataam varisstha
Vaata atmajam vaanara yuutha muhyam; shreeraama duutam sharanaam prapadye
Poojantam ram ramethi; madhuram madhuraksharam
Aaruya kavitashakha; vandey Valmiki kokilum
Raamo rajamani sada vijayatey; raamam ramesham bhaje
Raamenna abhitaa nishaa chara chamu; raamaya tasmai namah
Raama naasti paraayannam parataram ramasya daasosmy aham
Raame chitta layas sadaa bhavatu me bho raama maam uddhara
Raam rame thi raamethi; rame rame manoramey
Sahasthra naam thatulyam; raama na mava ramaney
Ithi shrimadh buddhakaushikamuni virichitam shree raamraksha stotram sampoornam. Shubham bhav tu Shubham bhav tu subham bav tu
RajomajamaJUST KIDDING. I promise this is the end, remember to take deep breaths and relax.
I don’t really consider myself religious as such, so again it didn’t make sense as to why I was singing the longest prayer in the world every morning, it was painful for me to know I could have used those 15-20 minutes to sleep a little longer. I guessed that maybe they were preparing me to impress a future mother in law, that was the only logical reason I could think of until one day I decided to just come out and ask why on earth this was something I had to do. None of my friends had to! The response I got when I challenged my parents was again “You won’t understand now, you will understand twenty years from now. It’s a habit, and instead of asking why, ask why not.”
That’s the most annoyingly logical thing a parent can say, “instead of asking why, ask why not”, because saying “I just don’t want to” never sounds like a good enough come-back to that sentence. Something even more annoying is when parents actually turn out to be right about things like this. A word to perfectly describe the reason for having to learn these “habits” is “Sanskar” or “imprint”. It’s a way of life almost, something specific to a person or a family. There’s no rhyme or reason to do certain things but it’s not even about what they mean or what they signify, it’s more a point of living a particular way and carrying on a set of lessons; lessons that make us different to our peers.
I still don’t know how running round the block in the pitch dark early in the morning prepared me for anything in life other than buying a treadmill; I think that was just for a laugh, but the prathana thing started to make sense to me a few years ago and more so as each year passes; the same way that it's only now making sense why I was told to touch my parents' feet before an exam or told to tie a rakhi on my brother's wrist. I’m at that point now where my brain is actually thinking differently, like an adult, which is code for I’m getting really old hence I’m thinking like an old person. The more I think about it the more I realise that the only things I will have to remember my family by is:
1) Photographs
2) A link to India
3) Sanskar
The photographs are definitely the easy part, but the other two points are more so up to me to maintain now rather than my parents. The link to India is not as intimidating to maintain because I never need an excuse to go and visit my sainted aaji, especially when it involves eating five-star quality brahmini food. It’s true that apart from Shivaji Park and a few parts of Pune I don’t know a thing about the rest of India but hopefully in time that will change too.
It’s the Sanskar bit which is the hardest thing to maintain especially for someone as stubborn as me who always leans towards no rather than yes. Getting older has made me think a little differently about being told to do morning prathana, now I know this isn’t Baghban but without sounding totally emotional, it’s still true that unfortunately our parents won’t be there forever. They’ll eventually transform from nagging parents into aajis and ajobas, and once they pass on it will just be us. And when we already lack Marathi culture outside India it makes it all the more difficult to actually connect with our heritage. The thought of my parents not being around truly petrifies me, but when I do certain things it reminds me of them and makes me feel close to them. Doing prathana in the morning or singing all one thousand verses of the aarti during Ganesh Chaturti and knowing my parents did it too, comforts me. Not singing the prathana doesn’t mean I’m going to hell or that in my next life I’m going to be born as a cockroach; all it means is that link will be lost, so why not?
The best thing about not being a kid and getting older is also knowing that I now possess the power and the divine right to do this to my own children one day. Just sitting here thinking about the day I’m going to make those brats climb a mountain every morning and recite my own prathana remix makes me smile with total satisfaction. It’s a win-win situation really, I get to watch them suffer knowing fully well it’s going to benefit them in the future. I might even make them use a microphone and do a freestyle every week just to shake things up.
I also firmly believe that apart from habits and traditions passed down from our parents, making children learn new habits like extra studying is imperative to healthy growth (yes, I am only saying this now because I’m not a child anymore). Kumon Maths are one of those things. Do you have children who play more than study? Do you believe your future engineers/doctors are taking way too much interest in art or history? Email me and ask for details on how to enrol them in a Kumon Maths centre near you. To my horror when I was younger I also found out that Kumon centres exist all around the world, if you are reading this blog from India thinking “Oh damn, I wish my kid could have done this” then you will be happy to know there is a Kumon Maths centre in Prabhadevi, Mumbai and what looks like a hundred of them all over Delhi.
If you are a parent: You are welcome
If you are a child: You won’t understand now, you will understand twenty years from now.
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